As a very shy, introverted person, blogging is a terrifying experience. I mean, I like it, but the amount of anxiety I have over very simple things, like expressing my own thoughts on my own blog, is absolutely ridiculous. I worry about everything. Lately, I’ve been trying to just do things before I can think them through or really worry about them to the point where I decide to not do them. So, as soon as I have an idea for a post or decide how I feel about a book, I write it and schedule it right away.
My main blogging insecurities:
Do I have a clear voice…
I worry about whether I have one, and if I do, is it boring? Annoying? Is it clear? Does it reflect me well? I worry about if I don’t have one, then how do I develop one? How does my ‘voice’ influence my readers, how does it make them view me as a blogger, yadda yadda… I could go on.
I don’t want to annoy you…
Before recently, I used to avoid interacting with other bloggers. Not because I didn’t want to or because I don’t like them, but because I was afraid I would annoy them or wouldn’t be accepted or a million other things. Interacting with bloggers who’ve been blogging far longer than I have and know more, and who I probably (most likely) admire is intimidating. Although every blogger I’ve interacted with has been very friendly, I still get very nervous before commenting or replying. There’s always that fear of coming across that person who isn’t going to be friendly back.
Am I doing this right?
As with any community, there are rules. So as a new blogger I am always worrying about overstepping a boundary or doing something that’s going to break those rules and earn me a negative reputation or response. Of course, I realize that my blog is my own to do whatever I’d like with, but that nagging feeling of self-doubt never really goes away.
Oops, did I offend you?
I never want to offend anyone, because I know how it feels to be offended or to feel disrespected, but I also don’t want to censor myself. This is probably my biggest conflict. Maybe I’m simply too nice, but I’m always aware of the fact that not everyone shares my opinion, and so I end up trying to express my feelings and thoughts honestly, but also as politely as I can.
The internet is a very public place…
I have anxiety about putting myself ‘out there.’ Sharing my thoughts publicly onto the internet is very nerve-wracking for me. I’m the type of person who refused to let anyone I know read my writing. I cried when my mother read my journal once. I may have overreacted, but I’m very shy about people reading my personal thoughts, and often, my thoughts on books that I read feel very personal. (I still won’t let my mother read anything of mine after that. Not even my blog. She’s lost all reading trust.)